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  Just Like Heaven

  T.L. Bradford

  Copyright

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by reviewers, who may quote brief passages in a review.

  Book Cover Photo - Neospot

  Printed United States of America

  Lyrics – Lovesong by The Cure written by Simon Gallup / Roger O'Donnell / Robert Smith / Porl Thompson / Lol Tolhurst / Boris Williams

  Visit https://tlbradford.com

  Dedication

  This book is dedicated to my sister Oma, who instilled in me at a young age, the love of reading and the ideology that there is no shame in loving love. And to my husband Leo who makes all of my dreams come true.

  “I hate the word homophobia. It’s not a phobia. You’re not scared. You’re an asshole.”

  Part 1

  Close to Me

  Chapter 1

  Noah

  It’s been almost 10 minutes. Five to go. Fuck.

  I have no clue what this meeting is about, and I am not in the mood to be dealing with Steph and Genie’s crap today. Some random stagehand just came back here to let me know my attendance was required. I try to think back and wonder if I personally offended anybody yet today. Hmm… Nope. Not today, anyway.

  Four minutes.

  Steph and Genie are the producers for the show I star on called Americana. It’s a newer concept in programming. The show streams daily on Netflix as an evening drama. Small town life under a microscope is the idea. It’s a modern-day spin on a soap opera really, but there is no way on earth I am admitting to working on a soap opera. The show itself is heavily ingrained in social media where the characters have taken on a life all their own. It’s been almost two years now since they cast me, and the show has been live.

  Three minutes.

  I graduated from college several years ago. After that, I spent a couple of years bar tending and serving. With good parts so scarce, I was lucky to get this opportunity. The show has been a ratings winner, and the entire cast is becoming well known.

  What drew me to the part was its unique take on the dissection of America and how different communities have changed over time. Our show takes place in America’s heartland. It focuses on the lives and loves of the residents of Greenfield, Indiana.

  My character, Jace, is the town barkeeper. He was a great role to play early on because he had a lot of interaction with the main cast. Lately, though, something has changed, and I’m not feeling in touch with the character as much as I once did. It’s showing in my performance, so I’m sure that’s what this meeting is about.

  Two minutes.

  I’ll bet it has to do with me flubbing lines lately. I haven’t been able to focus, and it looks like they have noticed. My part is getting reduced to nothing. Maybe this is the kick in the pants I need to move on. Ash, one of my castmates on the show, mentioned that they are having open auditions for a new show on FOX. Who knows, it may work out for a season or two. The only thing is that FOX has a bad reputation for short-term junky shows.

  One minute.

  Maybe they aren’t going to renew my contract. Oh god. I’m being sacked. I can see it now. Gah, I’m already planning my pity party table for one.

  I reluctantly get up from my chair, padding out of the room, trying hard not to make eye contact with anyone. I arrive at the end of the hall and hold my hand on the doorknob. “Okay here it goes,” I say to no one in particular.

  I enter the room and see Genie and Steph seated across from each other around a large square glass table. Steph is probably in his early 40s, (never can tell for sure in Hollywood), smallish frame with short sandy brown hair, mischievous eyes and a car salesman smile. He is kicking back with his half-eaten Subway sandwich hanging out of his mouth.

  Genie looks up to see me. She has her requisite Starbucks Spiced Vanilla Chai Latte and is eating some salad that looks unhealthier than Steph’s meatball sub. “Noah, right on time, per usual.”

  “Hey, guys.” I’m hoping to keep good vibes flowing.

  Steph says, “Come on in and take a seat. Shut the door behind you.”

  Oh boy, that doesn’t sound good. I move toward the desk, taking a chair next to the window, moving it in close next to Genie. The smell of the eggs on her salad is strong. Steph takes a napkin to his lips to wipe the marinara sauce off and starts talking.

  “Noah, you’ve been here for over a year, right?”

  “Uh, yeah, almost two years next month.”

  “So, you’re up for contract negotiations then, right?”

  “Yeah, I haven’t talked with my agent about it yet.”

  “Well, that is what Genie and I would like to discuss.”

  I swear the smell of the eggs is getting stronger. It is permeating the entire atmosphere.

  “You know we get the daily stats on the show’s overall performance and having talked; we decided we are going to have to make some changes.”

  It’s coming. I feel it. With the show being purely streaming, it is easy for the showrunners to pull up all types of analytics on the show, like what age group is watching, and income bracket. Annoyingly, they can also track what parts of the show are being watched and skipped over. A favorite character will have higher click averages than a third tier one. With my part being scaled back so much, I’m fairly sure my numbers are in the gutter. For sure I’m getting the boot. I start sweating.

  Genie jumps in and says, “Your numbers have been pretty consistent, but not growing at the pace we would like to see.” All I can smell now is the nauseating stench of eggs. I am going to puke. Right here. Right now. Right on their fancy $3000 glass table.

  Genie looks at me with concern in her eyes. “Are you okay? You don’t look so hot. Would you like a glass of water?” She jumps up from the table to grab me a glass. Her dark hair is nearly falling out of the messy bun at the back of her head.

  “Yeah, that would be great.” She comes back and sets the glass down in front of me. I pick it up and drink slowly. My throat is constricted, and I nearly choke. She is still concerned and looks over to Steph. She pushes her black-framed glasses up on her nose and turns back to me.

  Sensing my stress, she quickly says, “We are thinking of taking your character into a new direction.”

  “A new direction? Okay, what were you guys thinking about?”

  Steph says, “We’ve done some marketing research and have found some niches that we think will work well for our show.” He crams in another mouthful of sub.

  Ever the tag team, Genie says, “It’s a direction that may be more challenging, but we think given your range that you would best be able to play the role.”

  “What’s the direction you were thinking?”

  She looks over to Steph, then back at me. “Your character, Jace Alexander will enter into a relationship, with a new character, named Max.”

  “Max? Well, what is Maxine’s backstory?” I let out a huge breath. They had me there for a minute.

  “It’s just Max, not Maxine. Specifically, Max Shephard,” Steph says.

  Slowly my head starts to wrap around what they are saying. “So, wait, Max is a guy?”

  “Yep,” they say in unison.

  “You made him gay?”

  “Look, Noah, I know this is a real shock, but think of it this way. You will have a unique storyline, and it will get people back into your character again,” says Steph. “It’s been what, a year now since Jace broke up with Gracie? The character has just been drifting, and we need to get that viewership back.”

  “Are you kidding me? How the hell am I supposed to play g
ay? This is so far out of my league. I—”

  “I’m going to be honest with you,” Steph says, finally having put this sub down. “Genie and I had to go to bat for you to keep you on the show. They were ready to cut you. We pulled this idea out that we had a little while ago and they went for it. So basically, you stay on the show on the condition that you accept this storyline. Otherwise, they are releasing you at the end of your contract.”

  I sit back in my chair, dumbstruck. I look between the two of them and see there is no way out. I have no words.

  Genie says, “I know you feel blindsided and I don’t blame you for being upset but think about this rationally. This is the opportunity you have been waiting for. A chance to stretch your acting skills.”

  “Yeah, but…”

  Then she pulls forward in her chair, she grabs my hand and looks me in the eye. “You don’t have to answer right now. Think about it over the weekend, and we can all talk about it again on Monday.”

  I don’t say a word, still unmoving and dazed.

  “We have an audition video for the actor we have in mind. Why don’t you take this copy and see if you think you can make this work?”

  Wordlessly, I take the flash drive and get up to leave. I go back to my dressing room and finally lose the contents of my stomach.

  Chapter 2

  Noah

  This is all kinds of wrong. How can this even be happening to me right now? This could limit my career before it even gets started. I mean, I’m not homophobic or anything, but really, why me? I’m at home now and pacing my living room trying to piece together what happened today. After I left the set, I drove the long way home to clear my head.

  I was given an ultimatum. Play the role, or they terminate my contract. I don’t have any other projects lined up at the moment. It is hard with this show because we work such long hours almost every day of the week. There is no time for much else.

  After about an hour or so driving around aimlessly, I finally go home. I pull my Jeep into the garage and head inside. It’s been a very long day, and I want to relax so I put my bag down and as usual. Lola, my cat, is found perched in her window box ready to be fed. I pick her up and scratch her behind the ears; then I feed her. I go to the kitchen and set out my usual meal prepped dish and put it in the oven to warm it up. I go upstairs to shower and change and sit down at the kitchen counter with my laptop and eat. I grab my phone and give Gemma a call.

  How can I describe Gemma other than to say she has been the most important person in my life up to this point? We had known each other in an acting class and were fortunate enough to be cast together on Americana at the same time. She was my on-screen love interest, who quickly became my off-screen love interest as well.

  I dial Gemma, and she picks up on the first ring, like always. “Hey, beautiful. What happened to you last night? I got worried when I didn’t hear from you. I figured either you got lucky or I was gonna have to send out the hounds to find you?”

  “Ha-ha, very funny. Are you doing standup now?”

  “Hey, everyone needs a fallback career.” Didn’t I know it?

  “I’ll have you know I had a perfectly lovely dinner, with a perfectly handsome man and had a perfectly good time.”

  “Okay, now, the truth.”

  “He was the most pretentious asshole I’ve ever met in my life. He talked the entire 3 hours about himself. I swear if he ever bothered to pull his head out of his ass, he probably thinks he’s still talking to me.”

  Ah, there’s my girl. She never fails to crack me up. It’s become a ritual. Either Gemma or I will go out on rotten dates, come back and relay the tragedy that befell us. These stories have almost made going on the crappy dates worth it. Gemma and I dated for about a year before we decided we were probably better off as friends. I still love her, though. That never changed.

  Laughing, I tell her I’m sorry for the awful time she had. “What is that, like three complete duds in a row now?”

  “LA is a joke for dating. I’ve decided there is only one person I will even consider dating now.”

  “Who’s that?”

  “Myself. I mean I know what I like. I’m a fascinating conversationalist. I’m good in bed. Why didn’t I think of this sooner?”

  “Well, don’t throw in the towel yet okay. Your prince charming is out there somewhere. Just give it some time.”

  “That’s the story of my sad, sorry life. So, what’s up with you? I haven’t seen you around set in a few days. Everything alright?”

  For a minute there at least, I had forgotten about my situation. “Yeah, I only had two walk-ons this week. Not even a speaking role. I’ve been shot down to background player.”

  “I can’t see why they aren’t giving you meatier material.” Gemma is ever my supporter. “When was the last time they gave you anything to work with? Wait, was it the car accident with Brian? No, it was the triangle with Greg and Lila, right?”

  “Even with them; I was third wheeling it.” Had it been that long? Jace, my character started as a pretty big deal. After the break with Gracie, Gemma’s character, interest had waned. I could not find the right chemistry again with any of the other characters they had paired me with.

  “Well, Steph and Genie have your back; after all, they had the magic touch with you and me.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I debate whether to tell her about the offer.

  “Gemma, I had a meeting with them today.”

  I hear her short intake of breath. “What did they have to say?”

  “Officially, they are taking my character in a new direction.”

  “That’s a good thing, right?”

  I spit it out. “They’re turning Jace gay.” There are a few beats of silence. “Gemma, you still there?”

  “Yeah, okay, what did you tell them?” I was looking for supportive rage, but instead, she goes on as though I’ve just asked her the time of day.

  “I told them I would think about it over the weekend. It’s got my head in a mess right now. I mean, I knew they were struggling with the course for the character, but really? How could they go and spring something like this on me?”

  She’s quiet again. Why is she quiet? Where is her battle cry for righteous indignation? “Have you seriously considered it? Think about it; this could be a pretty high-profile storyline. It would get you back on airtime. That’s what you wanted, right?”

  “Well yeah, but I didn’t think I’d have to sell my dignity to get it.”

  “Welcome to Hollywood.”

  “You really are getting jaded, aren’t you?”

  “No, not at all, but really how bad would it be? You have said you wanted more challenging roles, and now you have an opportunity dropped right in your hands.”

  “Okay, let’s say even if I was going to consider it, how would I even know how to portray a gay guy?”

  “What do you mean? You’ve played Jace for two years. He hasn’t changed, play him as you always have. People don’t change because of their orientation; it’s just other people’s perception of them. You know this character inside out, who better to portray him as a normal guy than you? What have you got to lose?”

  “There was a condition to me accepting the role. If I choose not to go with the new storyline, the studio will probably not renew my contract.”

  “Oh, Noah, I didn’t know it had gotten that bad. There’s no way they will consider another storyline?”

  “They say they have marketing research that backs up their decision. It’s ultimately up to me if I do it or not. If I don’t, they will drop the character and do it anyway with a new actor. But they plan to pursue this storyline either way.”

  “Who do they have you hooking up with? If it’s Ash, I will pay good money to see it.”

  “Gemma, it’s not funny, and no, it’s not anyone on the show, they are bringing in a new character.”

  “Is he hot?”

  “How the hell would I know? Besides, I haven’t even
seen him. They gave me a flash drive of his audition, though.”

  “And you haven’t watched it yet?”

  “No, not yet. I’m still on the fence about this.”

  “You know as well as I do that throughout our careers, we will have to play characters outside of ourselves and outside of our comfort zones. You’ve been to acting school. You got this, Noah. Give it a shot. And later, if you think you can’t play it, at least you tried.”

  She has a point. Lots of straight actors have played gay roles, especially lately, with no long-term effects on their careers. It’s all part of being a professional actor. How would this be any different from playing someone who was of a different religion, race or heritage than me?

  “As usual, you are right.”

  “Damn, straight.”

  “I’ll check out the clip and see if it’s even worth it.”

  “That’s the Noah, I know.”

  “Thanks, love ya.”

  “Back at ya.”

  I hang up the phone and run my hands through my hair. I look over to the thumb drive and the laptop. What could it hurt? I grab my cooling dinner, pop in the drive and watch the audition.

  It starts with a blank white background and a folding chair in the center of a room. I can hear muffled voices off camera. It sounds like someone is directing the actor on the scene. He can choose to play it in multiple ways. They tell him to take his time and start when he is ready.

  On screen, walks the actor. He is tall, about 6 feet, maybe an inch or two shorter than me. He is wearing blue jeans and a white Under Armour fitted shirt that shows off his sizable biceps. He is very fit, with an athletic build. It looks like he probably played various sports most of his life to have that kind of definition. He has short dark blond hair that is lighter blond at the tips. They are not fake frosted tips. It is a color that came naturally from probably being outside a lot. He has a strong profile image and chiseled features.